Wow. Just wow. First, let me apologize for the lack of blog posts, you know, because I have deprived all my loyal fans of my words of wisdom (me, wise! har har har).
But I must make a social commentary, and the subject is sure to make some peoples' blood boil. Modesty *GASP* NOT THE M-WORD!!!!!
Alas, I feel I must speak of it. It has been brought to my attention that many Catholics don't actually take modesty seriously, and genuinely feel that they are justified in wearing immodest clothing for a number of reasons.
Let me list - via paraphrase - a few:
It is not my responsibility what a man thinks about me! Let Christ deal with his lascivious thoughts!
It's hot; therefore, it is okay to wearing something that won't make me hot.
Modesty is a frame of mind, not a state of dress!
Evangelists who tell women what to wear are perverts or are trying to command women! They should mind their own business and concentrate on more important issues.
We shouldn't have to dress like the Virgin Mary to prove we are good Catholics.
It's too hard to find good, modest clothing! It's the stores' fault that I can't find good clothing! And it's too expensive to shop, especially because I need a babysitter!
These are just some of the worst excuses I have heard against dressing modestly. If I had to categorize the sins they would fall under, the sins would be Sloth, Pride, and an abhorrent lack of Charity. And I say that knowing full well I've thought similarly, so I can talk (in case you were wondering where I got my authority).
Now, let me go address each justification (because that's what they are) one-by-one:
It is not my responsibility what a man thinks about me! Let Christ deal with his lascivious thoughts!
You are right. It is not your responsibility to worry about what anyone thinks about you at any given time. It isn't even your business. However, what you say, do and wear is your business. What you project is your business. So if you project your body, and men or teenage boys take notice, you are responsible for the temptations you have wrought. The word is Scandal, and Christ takes it seriously. I suggest you do the same. Therefore, if you inspire lustful thoughts in men or teenaged boys, or if young girls are inspired to dress immodestly because of you, you are guilty of scandal. And that is your responsibility.
It's hot; therefore, it is okay to wearing something that won't make me hot.
It is never okay to scandalize others, not even if the weather sucks. If it really is that hot outside, do you really want to be outside while the sun is blaring? Besides, I have found that the less sun exposure on my skin, the less the heat affected me. I live in California where the heat is almost constant, yet I have found that is it easy to stay cool while staying covered. And since I know bathing suits are going to come up, may I recommend a simple one-piece or a two-piece that looks like a one-piece, or if those are too expensive (which they are, and I never buy them used. Yuck) then a simple immodest suit covered by a yoga top and cotton workout shorts that go to the knee will suffice. You'll have less sunscreen to put on, and the clothing won't add much weight to you. And yes, that is what I do. It works just fine and is comfortable as I don't worry about anything popping out.
Modesty is a frame of mind, not a state of dress!
Uh. No. Humility is a frame of mind. Modesty is very much a state of dress. And what you do with your body, you do with your soul, so don't go showing more than is appropriate to the world.
Evangelists
who tell women what to wear are perverts or are trying to command
women! They should mind their own business and concentrate on more
important issues.
If you say this, you have some real issues. Evangelists who preach about modesty are doing their jobs. Christ did not say that preachers should preach to everyone except for women who might be offended. No. He said to preach to all. I am concerned when evangelists don't preach about modesty or any other form of morality for that matter (which is a real problem in the Church, but more on that later). As for more serious issues, there is no shortage. That still doesn't excuse you from your responsibility to dress modestly.
We shouldn't have to dress like the Virgin Mary to prove we are good Catholics.
Psh. Nice try. No one said you have to. When people bring up the Virgin Mary, it is to make a comparison. She lived in the desert and wore 3X the clothing you're wearing while reading this. If she can do that, then you can wear shorts/skirts to your knees or cover your shoulder blades at Mass. It's really not that hard, so why make a fuss? Stop trying to justify your position or use the Virgin Mother as an excuse NOT to dress properly. You don't need to dress like a nun (who does dress the Her), but again, that does not excuse your lack of modest dress.
It's too hard to find good, modest clothing! It's the stores' fault that I can't find good clothing! And it's too expensive to shop, especially because I need a babysitter!
This is by far my favorite and the most laughable of all excuses! And it is so for a number of reasons.
1). Catholicism, by it's nature, is not easy. In fact, it is the opposite of easy. Christ said something about taking up our Crosses and following Him. If finding clothing appropriate for a Catholic layperson is too hard for you, then consider walking away from Catholicism, because it's only going to get harder. The Church's teachings on modesty are very clear, as are Christ's statements on Crosses, and sacrifice, and letting go of this world.
2). I know the stores do not make easy-to-find modest clothing. I spent over a year looking for an affordable one or two-piece bathing suit that was shorts on bottom and that covered up to above the bust. I finally found a two-piece for 40 bucks, which is a lot for me. If you want to know what I did last year, I bought a pair of knee-length cotton shorts and a thin, opaque cotton work-out shirt and wore my immodest two-piece under them. I even wore that ensemble to the beach. I feel your pain. However, I don't think that justifies you not doing your due diligence to find something appropriate. Don't shell out big buck for clothes. But don't give up, either. I've been buying my own clothes for 11 years now, and I can tell you, if you know where to look, know how to look, and don't give up, you will find lots of good clothing. Furthermore, look for pieces you can layer over each other. Did you find an adorable but very revealing top? Great! All you have to do is find a shrug or a plain, but thin top to go under it and you are in business. A little creativity, prayer (yes, prayer) and a lot of perseverance are all you need.
3). Unless you are shopping at Nordstrom's or the Mall, or the local boutique shop, finding good clothing really isn't that expensive. Hit up clearance racks because they always get rid of their good modest clothing first (you know, 'cause it's not that fashionable). If the clothing is too big, you can get it taken in at the dry cleaner for a modest price. And of course, you can get very good, 21st century items at the thrifts stores for cheap. And when you go to their clearance sales, the prices become dirt cheap. Again, layer if you must. And yes, capris and jeans are modest so long as they aren't painted on.
As for a babysitter, really? Are you really going to pull that excuse?? I understand not wanting to take the kids out. But I can and do if I must. It says a lot about you as a person and as a parent if you use taking kids out as an excuse not to shop. Unless you are in a wheelchair, or your child is super special needs, you really shouldn't use that as an excuse. I wonder what your husband thinks knowing he's married to a woman who thinks it's so hard to take the kids shopping that she needs a babysitter..... And how are your children ever going to learn to function in society if you don't take them out into society? Do you see the problem with this excuse? It opens a can of worms, so don't ever use it, and realize that if this is a reason you don't shop, you have other problems (again, barring any legitimate health reason).
Take it from a mother living in poverty, who has spent years shopping on the cheap. And don't ever forget hand-me-downs. I love hand-me-downs, I accept them graciously, and sometimes I ask for them.
Oh! One last thing: Modesty doesn't mean plain or ugly, nor should it translate as such. I dress modesty, but I still look good, and you can, too.
